His Faith, Her Faith
How one couple found common ground
by Jewish Gentile Couples I July 15, 2025
Sam and Val’s first conflict was also their first conversation about marriage. “At our ceremony, will we be able to pray in Jesus’ name?” Val asked.
Sam admits he got a little defensive in that moment. But he wanted to reassure her. “You can do your Jesus prayers, and I’ll do my Jewish prayers,” he answered.
This crossroads they reached is more common than we realize, and so is intermarriage in general. At least half of American Jews are now intermarried. It’s understandable—opposites attract! But at some point, the questions come: How will we raise our kids? How will we plan a wedding? What does spirituality look like in our home?
How do people from two different backgrounds begin—and build—one cohesive life?
Becoming Curious
Val describes their first meeting like this: “He’s Jewish, and I have this faith in Jesus—but we really liked each other!”
Sam was prepared for them each to continue practicing their own distinct traditions. “In my mind, coming from a very humanistic home, I personally thought it was possible for both of us to carry our own faiths and then bring up a family in which we both relate … where we find that coexistence, that harmony.”
But eventually, their affection for each other led to genuine curiosity about the other’s faith. They decided a good place to start was to read the Psalms together. Sam says, “I got curious about her beliefs—her books.”
At some point, he realized he was curious not just because of the relationship, but for himself. What if Val wasn’t in his life? How would he feel about her faith then? That’s a crucial question for those in interfaith relationships. If your beliefs shift because of your partner, and the two of you break up, that shift will still be there.
Walking Away
Sam and Val had both grown up Costa Rican, so at first it seemed they had many things in common. But as their conversations turned deeper, Sam realized there were differences in the way they understood things like love, forgiveness, family, and God.
As Sam and Val talked through things and asked good questions, they both gained a new perspective. Sam tried to share with Val how serious he was about his own roots. And for the first time, Val discovered the Jewishness of her own faith.
She and Sam both realized for the first time that the New Testament (what Sam had called “her book”) was written in Judea by Jewish authors. When she was asked, “Did you know you were following a faith that was Jewish?” Val answered, “I had it in the back of my mind, but it really came alive [during conversations with Sam].”
Once she noticed this connection, Val reached out to Jewish Gentile Couples. Tuvya was the first Messianic Jew that Sam ever met. Though he’d traveled extensively and met many people, Sam had never before encountered a Jewish believer in Jesus.
But at this point, rather than drawing closer in the dating relationship, Sam decided it was time for a break. He needed to find out more on his own.
The time apart created an opportunity for both Sam and Val to solidify their own identity—and it was part of the path that eventually led them back to each other.
Being Both
No one is born a Christian, and no one is born a Messianic Jew. That shift in belief can be part of a decision to trust in the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.
And that trust doesn’t come overnight. It’s a journey we can walk together.
Sam and Val’s journey began with simply liking each other, led to a wedding that honored both of their backgrounds, and continues today as they walk alongside other interfaith couples in their journeys.